The all important Cow Appreciation Day just about snuck past me but my handy National Day calendar alert informed I needed to pay attention. Cows are beyond special—they are bovine.
Having grown up around cows, and having lived across from a dairy farm for twelve years, I have an either an affection or a affectation for cows. I have gathered and created a plethora of cow jokes and cow facts and created a book that unfortunately no publisher is interested in at the moment. That doesn’t stop me from appreciating what Sandra Boynton has done for the cow with her winsome cowtoons and book. Gary Larson has also shown an affinity for cows. One of my other favorites is About Cows. There are scads of other books that regale cows from Dr. Seuss to meditative cows. Maybe the market isn’t ready for yet another tribute to cows.
Sandra Boynton knows her cows
Gary Larson goes to the Far Side about appreciating cowsEmbracing the love of cows
Then again, why not? I’m not giving in or giving up even because cows are cool and the world cud appreciate another udderly cow time.
Here are some of my favorite cow jokes I like to toss out to unsuspecting listeners:
Why are dairy farms so noisy? Too many cows have horns.
If good cows go to heaven where do bad cows go? The udder place.
Why did the farmer place bee hives in his pasture? He wanted to live in the land of milk and honey.
What goes “oom oom oom”? A cow walking backwards.
And my parting riddle—
What is the best way to make a milkshake? Have it jump on a pogo stick.
I would love to hear your thoughts on why cows are so cool or a really good cow joke—I have enough bad ones.
Of course I’m following the AI news. As a former English teacher I still have a vested interest in how students might tap into ChatGPT and all its marketplace cousins. I thought running herd on suspected cut and paste and plagiarism was challenging, now there is the matter if the assignments are student-produced or bot-generated. Did I mention I’m glad I’m retired?
Now that I am retired I am focusing on my own writing. I am beginning to notice publishers are posting their own AI cautionaries on their websites, about appreciating AI, but wanting original work. Yes, we’ll see how that turns out.
Then I read how someone created a picture book by plugging in prompt directives. This did not go over well in the comments. I have enough competition from humans, I don’t want any from machines.*
I decided to take ChatGPT for a test drive. I plugged in the prompt: Create an enthusiastic book review for Syria’s Secret Library.
I had just finished the book and was about to write up my Goodreads review and was curious what the ChatGPT approach would produce.
In less than a minute, more like 30 seconds, I was reading a seven paragraph review that was disconcertingly well-written. On first reading. Here is the first paragraph:
Prepare to be whisked away on a remarkable and inspiring journey as Mike Thomson takes us deep into the heart of Syria’s Secret Library. This is a truly exceptional work that not only sheds light on the power of literature but also showcases the indomitable human spirit in the face of adversity.
A decent introduction, a bit more enthusiastic in praise style than I would write, yet decent.
On second reading I noticed more glowing praise; however, it was what I refer to as “frosting” in that it looks good but has little substance. My AP students would write “frosting” essays when they weren’t fully knowledgeable about the topic prompt. They would write around the topic without truly addressing it. The AI result was much the same. It addressed the book in a very general way and the paragraphs became repetitive in its praise due to lack of detail. It’s as if it read the book jacket instead of the book:
The characters in this book are genuine heroes, ordinary people thrust into extraordinary circumstances, fighting to protect the essence of their culture and to safeguard the treasures of human knowledge. Their commitment and sacrifice are truly awe-inspiring, and their stories will stay with you long after you finish reading.
Which characters? What sacrifices? How were their actions awe-inspiring? These would be comments I would write on a student paper. Details. Give me the “so what?”—get me interested by providing specific details.
Then again, maybe it’s dependent on how well the prompt is formed. I revised my original prompt to read: Create a positive book review for Syria’s Secret Library including specific details from the book such as names, places, and events.
Here is a paragraph from the revised review:
The book eloquently captures the power of literacy and the profound impact it had on the people of Daraya. It was heartwarming to read about how children like Waleed and Reem found solace and inspiration in the pages of books, transcending the horrors of war. The author skillfully weaves their personal stories with historical and cultural references, painting a rich tapestry of the Syrian people’s resilience and unwavering thirst for knowledge.
It now mentions the place: Daraya, yet who are Reem and Waleed? And therein lies the problem with trusting bot research—it can get it wrong. There is no Reem and Waleed in the book. At least the the story I read.
I keep reading incidents where people, as in professionals such as lawyers, are getting into BIG trouble when it is revealed that their documents are flawed because they trusted what the AI produced. (Why they didn’t fact check is a question I had).
Overall, I am concerned where AI writing dependencies are taking us in both the creative and professional realm. From my brief forays though, I’m not too worried about my day job as a writer being threatened, especially after the results from my prompt concerning a young boy, a grandmother and feeding birds and squirrels in the park. AIiyiyi it was that bad.
*quick segue—my summer binge is “Person of Interest” which is an older series how a billionaire computer whiz invented a machine that watches the population for acts of terrorism, but he uses it to help prevent crime. I find this 2011-2016 series still relevant in how artificial intelligence becomes smarter than its programming.
snollygoster: a clever, unscrupulous person. What a fabulous word! It reminds me of a villain lurking in the pages of a Lemony Snicket book.
banderole: a small flag or streamer fastened to a lance, masthead, etc. I imagine this will be a handy term for upcoming Fourth of July parades.
ferdutzt: confused; bewildered. It sounds like have a fuzzy brain.
skrik: a sudden fright or panic. Yes, that’s exactly the word when I’m startled.
quidnunc: a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip. I am surprised I don’t come across this word in my English village novels. It so sounds like a person found in a Miss Marple story.
reboant: resounding or reverberating loudly. Definitely describes the train horns that barrage our area on a daily basis.
pluviophile: a person who enjoys rain and rainy days, and who is fascinated by the sights, sounds, etc., of rain. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest where you learn to live the rain or go bonkers in winter, spring, and fall.
farouche: sullenly unsociable or shy. Not just shy but shy with an attitude. That is inspiration for a character, for sure. Maybe this person meets up with the local quidnunc and sparks fly. Hmmm…
ferhoodle: to confuse or mix up. A companion of ferduzt.
bloviate: to speak pompously. You know, that part of the movie where the snollygoster monologues about how clever they are right before they are undone by the clever hero.
tawpie: a foolish or thoughtless young person. I see this being home in a Gaiman tale for some reason.
ceilidh: a party, gathering, or the like, at which dancing, singing, and storytelling are the usual forms of entertainment. Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream!
scintilla: a minute particle; spark; trace. It’s right companionable with “smidge”and “scootch.”
pwn: to totally defeat or dominate, especially in a video or computer game. Did the vowel get vanquished when this word came into being?
pervicacious: extremely willful; obstinate; stubborn. Oh dear, what if they are farouche as well?
proceleusmatic: inciting, animating, or inspiring. The problem is by the time the word is properly pronounced the moment has passed.
oppugn: to assail by criticism, argument, or action. This when the snollygoster shows their true colors.
lambent: running or moving lightly over a surface. Oddly, this is an adjective not a verb.
rubricate: to mark or color with red. So for equality purposes other colors should have their own verb—yellow would be “yubricate” and brown would be “bubricate”?
schmatte: an old ragged garment; tattered article of clothing. This sounds more like the state of my door mat after a hard winter of snow and ice abuse.
Challenge!
What word will you work into a conversation this week?
June 14th commemorates adopting the flag of the United States, which all began June 14, 1775. There is the story of Betsy Ross stitching up the flag, of course, and there is the lesser known man, a schoolteacher, Bernard J. Cigrand, who led a quiet campaign to create a place the date of recognition on our calendars.
It’s a holiday many people do not notice. My current office calendar doesn’t even have it marked. And it’s from my alma mater. I’ll have to speak with them about that.
Everything is still open: banks, libraries, government agencies. There will be no parades. No special store sales. You might see some flags outside. That reminds me *scampers outside quickly*
Ah—that’s better. Although it is supposed to rain today so we will have to see…
Hope it doesn’t rain on my birthday parade
June 14th happens to be my birthday, and for too many years I believed my mother who said, “All the neighbors know it’s your birthday and they have hung out their flag for you!”
I would still like to believe the flags are out for my birthday. I will settle for a card or call from my family.
Names can be a real stumper. Selecting the right name for a place, character, or in my current writing dilemma, a magazine.
Vogue is a hard act to follow
Names and places aren’t usually a problem when writing a story. I have dictionaries and other resources that inspire me. Yet, coming up with an invented name for a magazine is proving difficult. The frustrating part is that the magazine is only mentioned by the character a couple of times, yet it will set up more about the character if readers can associate the magazine with its connotative style. I’m a basic person when it comes to clothing (go Old Navy) so fashion magazines aren’t my usual read; however, my character, Carla, works for a fashion magazine in New York, and she is all about style. Coming up with a magazine about fashion without it actually being a real world magazine has taken far too much of my creative time.
Here are some titles I have come up with that got nixed after doing some fact checking:
Style–out there
In Style–out there
View–out there
Modus–out there
Mode--out there
Mirror–out there
Preview–out there
Clique–out there
Allure—out there
Then there is associated terms, like what The Devil Wears Prada did emulating Vogue by calling the magazine Runway. Maybe I could go there, although some terms have connotations:
Lipstick–nah
Blush–that’s leading somewhere I don’t want to go
Reflect or Reflects–sounds like a mindfulness posssibly
Today–TV show
Now–too demanding
I’m running out of ideas. Just need one word, maybe two, that both entices the reader to pick up the magazine and to understand what it is about. These are possibilities
Regard–-kind of like En garde, as in the directive when fencing (being on one’s toes, being ready)
Prev–a bit like “preview” as in getting in on new fashion before everyone else—possibility Preva?
Esteem-too much bragging
Sass and Saz--unbelievably are out there
Nouvo—a twist on nouveau, as in new
Maybe go with a single letter
M–oops, out there
Q–as in quest for fashion, yet too much like GQ
Z–too generational
W—yup, out there
So–I encourage you, I implore you–please help me out with possible magazine names. Think fashion. Think New York. Think chic. As incentive I will mention your contribution in the novel’s acknowledgements.
I appreciate how Mitch Teemley shares quotes of note. Over time I have developed my own quotes which will not be found in print since they exist as passing verbal ideas. They often found their way into my classroom during my years of teaching high school students.
This one formed out of observation of how some people talk about going places but make no effort in moving in that direction, like those students who wrote their career research papers about becoming doctors (because they wanted to be wealthy), yet didn’t sign up for math or science classes or health occupation courses. This saying also stemmed from being stuck in traffic or trying to get through the hallways during passing period.
As a Book Booster I enjoy meeting new characters when I open a book, and some characters become lifelong friends whom I visit with, like Scout and Jane Eyre.
Finding a poem that meets your needs is finding a song to sing in your heart when the world seems tuneless.
Life is a garden, yet in any garden there are weeds to contend so when that special flower, that truefriend comes along, it’s as special as finding that hidden columbine amidst the crabgrass.
Somewhat of a conundrum. Yet, what we think often becomes our actions, and if we are not sure of what we think than our actions will reflect our thoughts. Still a conundrum, I know.
There are not too many notable cliché “J” phrases, so let’s look them over.
Jack of all trades: someone who is able to do everything. This phrase dates to around the 1600s, Shakespeare’s time, yet there was a prevailing thought that if someone is good at everything they will not be outstanding in anything. Ouch. That’s harsh. I have moved away from saying Jack of all trades and just go with my personal reference of calling someone a MacGyver if they can fix anything and everything. MacGyver, I’m talking about the 80’s version, not the reboot. Great show. Angus MacGyver could take chewing gum and a paper clip and save the world from bad guys. He rocked an awesome mullet, which alone made him memorable.
image: Wikipedia
Jet set: the socially fashionable group. This term was introduced in the 1950s when airplanes became jets and moved people around quickly from one hot spot to the next. Flying was still out of easy reach for most people and mainly the affluent could afford jet travels. Not sure if jet set still applies today since platforms like Hopper make it more affordable to bounce from one place to the next more easily.
Jockey for position: to get into an advantageous place or position. A horse race term that literally meant that the jockeys were vying for the best position on the track. It later transferred to other situations such as the 1955 London Times that included the sentence, “Lawyers jockeying for position to appear before the right judge.” These suit and tie folk are smiling now, but it may not be so pretty once the gate bell rings, “And they’re off!”
image: Idioms4you
John Hancock: a person’s signature. A personal favorite. John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence in a large and bold manner so that King George could read it. Today, anyone’s signature on anything is considered a John Hancock. Kings not included.
image: Online Library of Liberty
Johnny-come-lately: a newcomer or someone arriving late. A nineteenth-century British seaman would be referred as Johnny Newcomer. This term became Johnny-come-lately in the United States.
image: Amazon
Johnny-on-the-spot: someone who is available at the right time. An early nineteenth American term that is not as popular as it once was when it appeared in the 1896 Artie by George Ade: “I could see that a Johnny-on-the-spot…was trying to keep cases on her.” Although it’s pretty clear that the phrase still has found its way to being useful.
image: johnny rentalsimage: johnnysvegas
Jump at the chance: to grab an opportunity. Strangely enough this expression was likened to a rooster jumping at a berry. Apparently Sir Walter Scott liked the expression and would refer to someone jumping at the “ready penny.” It certainly shows a degree of eagerness.
image: Free Dictionary
Jump down someone’s throat: to rebuke someone sharply. A metaphor still in use from its start in the late nineteenth century.
Jump the gun: to start too soon. An easy one to figure out when thinking about how sport participants are not supposed to set off before the starter’s gun goes off. To do so, to jump out into the race before the starter indicates to go, could scratch the participant from the race, let alone get the other participants a tad upset at the false start. Originally the expression was “beat the pistol,” which changed to its present form by 1942. The expression is a metaphor that goes far beyond athletic competitions.
Just deserts: a deserved reward or a deserved punishment. I would consider getting dessert a reward, except notice the spelling—“desert” refers to “deserve” not in cheesecake or pudding after the main meal. A mid-eighteenth century proverb: “Desert and rewarde be oft tuned things far of,” which means what one deserves and the reward they receive is not always the expected. Just deser is indeed different than just dessert.
Any surprises! I always thought it was “dessert” and wondered why someone would fling out, “they got their just dessert.” They weren’t talking about a slice of pie. Now I know.
March proved feisty in its stubbornness to toss a bit more winter out before relinquishing to spring. A couple of sunny ways lured me out of the house to bundle up and read in my chaise lounge enjoying some excellent reads.
And then there was April. The winter chill hung in there battling spring to the point of freezing the birdbath water while daffodils timidly peeped out from their slumber. Then Bam spring jumped right into summer going from 40 degrees to 75 degrees in a matter of days. The weather is consistently inconsistent where I call home. Whether it be cold or hot I manage to find time to read. By the fire in my recliner or lounging in my hammock a book in hand is my favorite way to pass the time.
Horse by Geraldine Brooks ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
image: Amazon
What a treat. Excellent research details along with plausible speculation about historical figures create a read that is both fascinating and informative. Considering this is a story about a horse that the world basically forgot about, it’s surprising how intriguing the story is. Then again not—Brooks is a proven storyteller.
The Blackout Book Club by Amy Lynn Green ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
image: Amazon
As unlikely as it is for a non-reader to become a librarian this is the case for Avis who promises to keep Derby’s library going when her brother leaves to join up in 1942. Avis and other characters tell the story of living in a small coastal American town while the war with Germany heats up.
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
image: Amazon
A curmudgeonly octopus and an elderly Swedish widow plus a thirty year old man baby with a side of Scottish grocery owner walked into a story one day. Yeah, it does sound like a shaggy dog joke about to go down, but all those characters come together for an amazing debut novel.
Emma by Alexander McCall Smith ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
image: Amazon
What a delight. McCall Smith’s retelling of Emma fit exactly my reading needs of something familiar, yet new, like a favorite recipe with an added ingredient to change it a tad. *
*I must confess that I don’t remember reading this adaptation (eight years ago) and went I looked up my review I had not been kind in my remarks, saying the author had taken liberties and was trying too hard to modernize a classic. Sigh—I am mellowing with age it seems.
The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt by Caroline Preston ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Wonderfully fun! It’s surprising this didn’t start a trend. This is a mash up between a graphic novel and a short story. It’s deceptively simple in its plot, yet has all the elements of a deeper novel with the brief tale of a hometown girl who found success and contentment right in her hometown after traveling the world. Lots of name dropping which adds to the charm of Frankie’s story being a bit of a fairy tale.
The Good Pilot Peter Woodhouse by Alexander McCall Smith ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
image: Amazon
The Good Pilot is a deceptively layered novel. At first it is a heartwarming story of an English land girl marrying an American pilot, a nice little feel good tale. Then it switches to a different lens, one in which a German soldier does the right thing and saves not only a dog from war’s cruelty by two Americans, one being the American pilot.
And now for April’s reads…
Homesick: My Own Story by Jean Fritz
image: Amazon
Jean Fritz, an award winning writer of historical books for young readers, provides readers with an autobiography that she admits has some fiction added to it to create a story.
It is an engaging story. Born in China, Fritz lived there for a dozen years before her family moved to the United States. Their move coincided with China’s rebellion and at times the family was in danger due to the unrest of the Chinese towards foreigners.
With humor and through the lens of a girl passing from childhood into adulthood, this autobiography is both informative and entertaining.
Picture This: How Pictures Work by Molly Bang
image: Amazon
A dynamic, approachable discussion how even the simplest shapes have meaning, projecting emotion and implied motion. Illustration does not have to be drawing, as Molly Bang demonstrates through cut paper shapes.
I’m absolutely not an artist. Even my stick figures are pathetic. However, between reading Frankie Pratt and Molly Bang I’m inspired to try collage as an illustrative method for a couple of my picture book stories. Stay tuned.
The Franchise Affair (Inspector Alan Grant #3) by Josephine Tey
image: Amazon
An unusual plot for Ms. Tey in that her inspector Grant is basically removed from the story and there is no murder in this engaging mystery story.
A teen girl accuses a woman and her elderly mother of kidnapping and beating her and her tale is so convincing that the two women are reviled by the locals. A solicitor takes up their case and becomes an amateur sleuth but discounting the girl’s accusations prove quite challenging.
Josephine Tey, an accomplished mystery writer, provides a tricky tale of accusations against the innocent. The characters and steady pace create a story difficult to set aside.
At present my Goodreads book minder informs me that I am 23 books ahead of schedule having read 54 of my 101 goal for this year. Being retired has absolutely freed up time for reading which I am trying to balance with writing my own books while weeding, dusting, grocery shopping, attending meetings, and tending to my mother. I really should get a t-shirt that states “I’d rather be reading” because that’s my numero uno activity choice.
Until next month. And what was your five star read during March and April? Don’t be shy. We’re all here waiting to discover the next really good read.
People who say they don’t relate to or care for Shakespeare are unaware how he influences their lives. From everyday words from “assassination” to “zany” to common phrases such as “All that glitters is not gold,” Shakespeare is without a doubt one of the most enduring amongst influencers.
Even if Bard Bashers still won’t acknowledge Shakespearean influence, it’s difficult to ignore his sound life advice through some of his well-known quotes.
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be”
This Hamlet quote seems cryptic at first, yet deeper consideration initiates the idea that we may not truly understand our potential or that we see ourselves differently than how others see us.
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none”
This quote from “All’s Well That Ends Well” is a something one might hear in valedictorian speech or might see on a coffee mug. While it sounds trite, it’s actually a succinct guide to life.
“The course of true love never did run smooth”
A quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream reminds us all how love’s journey is one that is traveled by experiencing a few potholes, speed bumps, and delays due to construction.
“All’s well that ends well”
This eponymous quote is an encouragement to trust in hope, to believe it will all work out for the best.
So, whether you be in the Bard Bravo bunch or find yourself more of a Bard Basher, you have to admit Shakespeare handed out advice that is useful in life.
Pam Webb 