Pam Webb

a writer's journey as a reader

Archive for the category “humor”

15 Dec 2018
23 Comments

Debateables Recap: Rudolph Grounded


Each month, Mike Allegra and I take on debating mostly meritable topics concerning children’s literature. We each state our initial argument in about 250 words and then add on a 150ish counter argument. You then, dear readers, vote accordingly and add in commentary. Mike and I look forward to the votes, and truly relish your comments.

Our December Debatable focused on Christmas specials based on books. I offered the perennial classic: Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, based on the song, which is based on the Montgomery Ward coloring book. The book lasted longer than the store, sadly.

Image result for rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Mike, suggested his usual underdog, a relative newcomer to the seasonal menu: A Wish for Wings That Work based on the title by adult/children’s writer Berkeley Breathed, known for his Bloom County comics.

Image result for a wish for wings that work

This month proved, well, ummm, different. Lots of likes and visits. Few commitments. Mike edged the voting outcome by one vote–two, if you go by what Mike says. Anyway, quibbling aside, Mike is the winner. The score is now *gasp* EVEN! We are now 3-3.

Stay tuned for January’s Debatable. A winter theme? Open to suggestions. Leave your comments and certainly your suggestions for new Debatable topics.

Until then…

Blue skies, and happy reading…

Posted in bloggers, Debatables, humor, opinion, Reflections and tagged , , ,
07 Dec 2018
49 Comments

Debatables: ‘Tis the Season


Yes, ’tis the season. It used to come right after Thanksgiving, as in the Friday after, but now XMas Retail–totally different than Christmas (a post for maybe Mitch Teemley to muse upon?) is upon us. And with it comes all the holiday hoopla: decorations, music, food, commercials, events, and specials.

Mike Allegra and I are taking on Christmas specials based on children’s books in this month’s issue of Debatables. Last month we discussed which children’s lit character deserves to be a Macy’s Day Parade balloon. Mike won that round. See all the glorious discussion and scrabbling here.

If you are not familiar with Debatables–Welcome!
If you are–Welcome back!

Each month, Mike Allegra and I take on debating mostly meritable topics concerning children’s literature. We each state our initial argument in about 250 words and then add on a 150ish counter argument. You then, dear readers, vote accordingly and add in commentary. Mike and I look forward to the votes, and truly relish your comments. Mike says the score is now 3-2. I lead. This could be an important session.

I am offering the perennial classic: Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, based on the song, which is based on the Montgomery Ward coloring book. You probably didn’t know that, did you?

Image result for rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Mike, that gregarious children’s author who is rocking the publishing world with ninja cows and princes of regard, is suggesting a relative newcomer to the seasonal menu: A Wish for Wings That Work based on the title by adult/children’s writer Berkeley Breathed, known for his Bloom County comics.

Image result for a wish for wings that work

Mike’s Opening Argument:

Few creatures, (even in Christmas specials) match the inimitable, innocent, guileless sweetness of Opus the Penguin. His personality stands in stark contrast to his id-inclined Bloom County comic strip cohorts. This big-shnozzled little fella always puts others’ needs before his own. 
So it seems only fair that as Christmas approaches Opus should take a little time to consider his own wants. And Opus wants to fly. He needs to fly. 
A Wish for Wings That Work was published after Berkeley Breathed suddenly (and heartbreakingly) discontinued the Bloom County comic strip. It’s arrival was like a breath of fresh air. Opus was back! And he was in a wonderful story, pursuing a passionate goal—a goal he achieves just by being his old penguin-y self.  
The cartoon (presented here in full) remains true to the book while expanding upon it, drawing in old favorite Bill the Cat as well as introducing new characters from Breathed’s then-recently christened Sunday-only strip, Outland. It’s a cartoon that works on just about every level, even if you aren’t familiar with Bloom County (but especially if you are). Much like Bloom County, the special mixes the sweet and the salty, kid humor with adult humor. And it rewards people who pay attention; some of the best jokes linger unobtrusively in the background. 
And, best of all, there’s that ending! It gives me happy chills every time I see it. Do yourself a favor. Watch the cartoon; you’ll see what I mean.  Click on the link below for Opus in action:
A Wish For Wings That Work
Cricket’s Argument:

We might think of it just being the ubiquitous song that everyone at every age knows, but Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer is pretty special, as in seasonal special. This song came out in 1949 based on the coloring book story created for Montgomery Wards. Although the Rankin special deviated tremendously from the original story it’s become a classic in it’s own right:

  • Burl Ives sings some snappy tunes
  • Memorable characters like Hermey the wannabe dentist
  • The Island of Misfit Toys
  • How about the Abominable Snow Monster?
  • And of course the famous Rankin/Bass stop motion animation
It’s a crowd pleaser about how non-conformists are contributors to society, and are, in fact, heroes in their own right. Click on the link below for cute clip:

From a kid’s coloring book to a traditional song to a classic cartoon—Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer is the one special that is so special it’s the special of all specials. All the others are simply paying tribute to an original. It’s been part of tradition since 1964, and keeps on ticking despite current fine-tooth scrutiny for issues. Rudolph and his friends provide a generational bonding, and the bonus is everyone can sing along.

Mike’s Rebuttal:
As a child, I watched Rudolph every year and enjoyed it. As an adult, however, the Rudolph story bothers me. Poor Rudolph is cruelly shunned by his peers—and is only accepted back into the fray once his glowing nose proves useful. 
That’s a Christmas story that could’ve been written by Ayn Rand.
A Wish For Wings That Work, on the other hand, is a story driven by a strong-willed (and strongly motivated!) character who lives in Bloom County, a wonderful Land of Misfit Everything—including tater tot-brained cats, rhino-pigs, cross-dressing cockroaches, and a toy store owned by General Norman Schwarzkopf. Opus may be teased, but he’s never shunned. After all, Opus and all of his eccentricities are a great fit for this unapologetically odd and accepting place. Rudolph may take place in Santa’s backyard, but Bloom County better exemplifies the generous, supportive spirit of the
season.
Cricket’s Final Say:
Rudolph overcomes adversity with the bonus of acceptance, providing a story arc of beginning, middle, and a rousing resolution. Opus? He is harshly teased by some really odd ducks, who eventually come around to helping him out with his flight fantasy. Yet, there is no real resolution. The last we see of Opus he’s enjoying mock-flying. How long is that going to last? And Bill—Mike, did you forget how cruelly Opus treated the cat he rescued? He never even apologized for his scathing remarks. Rudolph is upbeat while Bloom County is quirky.
 
Rudolph or Opus? Which special is special to you? Cast your vote, and add your comments. Thanks for stopping by and watch out for fruitcake. That’s one tradition we could do without.
Posted in bloggers, Debatables, humor, Reflections, Seasons and tagged , , , ,
29 Nov 2018
1 Comment

Debatable Recap: Defeat


Macy’s Parade has come and gone along with the November issue of Debatable. This month’s topic was filled with more than the usual amount of hot air as Mike Allegra, that rascally writer fellow who is loved and adored by his thousands of followers, won the round with his pitch of nominating Peter of the Snowy Day as a future Macy Day Parade balloon.

Admittedly, it is s good choice, yet I still contend the parade is all about the lightness of being and Tigger certainly fits that description.

Personally, I think Tigger and Peter would enjoy a snowy day together. Who knows? Maybe they’ll both be balloons one day.

So, congratulations, Mike. For once all your glorious and uplifting promotional ballyhooing rose up to to even greater heights.

Stay tuned for December’s Debatable edition in which Mike and I contest our choices for seasonal specials.

Posted in bloggers, Debatables, humor, Reading, Reflections and tagged , ,
20 Oct 2018
3 Comments

Word Nerd Confessions: October


No sooner than I share out some of my treasured lexicon than they multiple whilst my back is turned. Scamperous little verbiage. Well, let’s shake out their nest and see what we can find:

bravura

When we jump out and wildly applaud the artist shouldn’t we be shouting “bravura” instead of “bravo”? Hmm, needs investigating…

plantigrade

I didn’t realize we had this in common with bears.

pellucid

Okay, next excellent essay I grade shall have the distinction of “pellucid”–that should rock the writer…

turophile

Cheese, Grommit.

stanchless

Oh, yes. This perfectly describes the high school hallway conversations between classes.

scrutator

I can see why this one is not in popular use.

sennight

Nope. Never heard of this one. Fortnight, yes. Sennight nope. Does the senate meet in a sennight?

 

Posted in humor, Reflections, teaching, Words and tagged , ,
13 Oct 2018
81 Comments

Debatables: Scariest Villain


Hi all, and welcome to Debatables, a new semi-regular column where literary questions of sometimes deep,

and often frivolous nature, are mulled over, pursued with flair, and debated in a spirited manner with commentary from readers.

My cohost and regular debate opponent is the personable Mike Allegra. Well-known for regaling humorous

tales of family, as well as encounters with home repair, his other talents include editor, doodler, and writer.

His newest chapter book series is under the pseudonym of Roy L. Hinuss, aka Prince Not-So Charming.

Mike is really, really funny. Check out his blog and you’ll see why.


On to Debatables:

Here are the ground rules: Each Debater is allowed one brief argument (fewer than 300 words) on a
previously agreed-upon topic. These brief arguments will then be followed by a briefer rebuttal (fewer than

150 words).

Today’s Topic: Who is the scariest villain found in juvenile literature?

Cricket is nominating Cruella de Vil from Dodie Smith’s classic 101 Dalmatians.

Mike is suggesting: The cat from Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat (haven’t we been here before?)

Mike’s Argument

Many of the most evil villains in history have one trait in common: they pretend to serve the best interests
of others. Hitler was elected on a promise to lift Germany out of its economic crisis. Lenin and Stalin
promised to give more power to the Working Man. And The Cat in the Hat promised an innocent boy and
girl a little fun on a rainy day.
What the Germans, Russians, and Seuss Kids ended up with, however, was far different than what they
were promised.
Yet The Cat in the Hat is sneakier than the other villains mentioned above, for he has a talent for charm and
charisma—personality traits he uses to mask his villainy. The Cat is so skilled in this regard that many
readers fail to notice (or are happy to overlook) this felonious feline’s evil acts!

(Mike says Sally is being clotheslined–not exactly pictured)
“Oh, The Cat isn’t that bad,” some might say. “After all, he did clean up the house at the end of the book.
Shouldn’t that count for something?”
No, it shouldn’t. And here’s why.
In only 64 pages, that cat racks up a long list of terrible deeds. He breaks into a home, destroys property,
abuses an animal, abets assault and battery (via The Things), and endangers the welfare of two children.
He does it all with a smile on his face.
And he gets off scott free!
The Cat’s cleaning machine might erase the physical damage he created—but consider the psychological
damage. The Cat’s amoral actions would terrorize any child—and would almost certainly result in lasting—
perhaps lifelong—repercussions. His victims could end up suffering from recurring nightmares, anxiety,
trust issues, and clinical depression. That’s a lot of damage, and The Cat doesn’t have a machine to clean
that mess up, does he?

Cricket’s Argument

While I am amewsed Mike chose the Cat from Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat,villains are a serious business
and dog gone it, selecting the scariest villain in juvenile literature leads to the one and only Cruella de Vil.

Before Disney catapulted her to fame as the diabolical dalmatian-kidnapper, Cruella de Vil held her own
in Dodie Smith’s 1956 story of Pongo and his attempts to save his fifteen puppies from becoming Cruella’s
newest fur coat. Right there, the fact that this woman wants to slaughter puppies to wear as a fashion
statement should make you twitter up a rage post.

Villains are aptly named. Dodie gave her readers a big hint: Cruella de Vil? A spin off of “cruel devil.”
Although Disney’s portrayal of Cruella is transfixing, Dodie defined her pretty well in the novel. Here are
the facts:

  • eats everything with pepper and tastes like pepper (found out when nipped by a puppy)

  • drowned dozens of her Persian’s kittens

  • her family home is called Hell Hall

  • her fireplace fires are as hot as (see above)

  • her house interior is prone towards red

  • she drives a zebra-striped car with the loudest horn in England

  • expelled from school for drinking ink

  • her London flat was originally purchased by Count De Ville, an alias for Dracula

Here is an extra tidbit: ranked 39th on the AFI list of villains

A megalomaniacal tyrant with a streak of narcissism, she is a cruel devil of a woman who even
contemplated skinning the kidnapped puppies alive. Double yikes! This scary villain has found her way
into all sorts of popular culture, from song lyrics to movie lines to Lady Gaga’s choice costume. Puppy
stealer, kitten drowner, pepper eater, and related to Dracula–this is a way scary villain. Plus she is a terrible
driver. Lock up your puppies and stay off the roads if she is about.

Look at this illustration from the novel. Yikes!  

Check out this song:

https://youtu.be/R-YkJdYQzis

Mike’s Rebuttal

Cruella is evil. Very much so. But she wears her evil like a badge of honor, advertising it to everyone. Her
very existence is a harsh warning to stay away.
Now, if I may quote Kaiser Sose, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he
didn’t exist.”
The Cat is the devil we didn’t know existed. He can hide his evil behind false innocence and a perceived
eagerness to please. This is the M.O. of the most effective predators: the fellow in the park “looking for his
lost dog,” or the friendly stranger who kindly offers “to give you a lift home.”  
The Cat is cut from a similar cloth. Once he wins over his audience with a smile and a tip of his hat, he
becomes an agent of chaos. And, like The Joker from The Dark Knight, The Cat delights in the horror he
creates.

Cricket’s Rebuttal

Mike implies Cruella wants people to stay away from her and that she advertises her evil like a
well-deserved medal. This assumption would mean she cares about what people think of her. Truthfully?
She could care less what people think of her. Her actions indicate she doesn’t care about anybody except
herself. All the havoc she creates from personal insults to animal abuse is because she is self-centered with
a hateful regard towards others. Her devilish behavior doesn’t require an audience like Seuss’s Cat.
Cruella’s evil deeds are not beguiling antics that are mischievous or even ambiguous in their intent.
Cruella is all about villainous, malodorous mayhem. She doesn’t care who she hurts and doesn’t try to be
charming—she is and will always be Cruella, Cruella de Vil.
If she doesn’t scare you then no evil thing will.

Posted in Books, humor, opinion blogs, popular books, Reading, Reflections and tagged , , ,
06 Oct 2018
5 Comments

DOWOs: the “B” list


If new to DOWO, it stands for Dictionary of Word Origins by Jordan Almond, which is a new source for exploring all those words, expressions, idioms, and clichés that abound in our language having thoroughly explored our previous source Why We Say.

If you were here last month around the fifteenth, you know we have already covered the “A” list. We are now off exploring the “B” list:

Why is the four year degree called a “bachelor’s” degree?

Originally a bachelor was a soldier, a man neither old enough or wealthy enough to lead into battle under his own banner, and was considered to be inferior in status. When colleges became more popular, to distinguish between the levels of study and awarded degrees, “bachelor” was the indicated inferior to that of “doctor.”

No mention of how “master” came to be, and it is of note that a “master” is lower than a”doctor” designation, yet “master” does carry more significance than a “mister” status.

How did “taking the back seat” come to mean taking a lesser position?

British Parliment dictates that those members of the majority part take the front seats while those in minority are relegated to the back, or are told to do so. In case you are wondering if it is “back seat” or “backseat” here is the discussion:

Where did the term “bankrupt”come from?

In Italy money-changers placed money available to loan on a banca or bench. If unable to continue in business, the bench would be broken or banca  rotta. The broken bench became synonymous with the broken money lender and both were banca rotta or “bankrupt.”

What is a “bare-face lie?”


To tell a lie without having show your face is much easier than having to face someone and tell a lie, as in trying to keep a straight face while communicating a big fat fib.

Why is an airship called a “blimp?”

It was almost called “A-limp.” In 1914 England began testing airships, and of the two designs the “B-limp” rose to usage. Why “limp?” It was non-rigid–but you guessed that right?

What is meant by “once in a blue moon?”


Blue moons supposedly never happen, which was the original saying. However, moons can appear blue when seen through volcanic explosion ash, so maybe, just maybe a blue can be seen–but just barely. They are fairly rare and their appearance may only happen once in a person’s lifetime.

Why does a person “bone up” for exams?

The Bohn publishing printed up study aids for students which were referred to as a “Bohn up” later becoming a “bone up” as a play on “bonehead” meaning a person who wasn’t smart (because you must have a thick skull and no brains if you need extra help studying).

What is meant by “getting down to brass tacks?”

In early England draper shops the draper placed brass tacks along the counter to aid in measuring off material. When a customer was ready to purchase cloth the draper would get the desired stock down to the brass tacks to measure off and complete the transaction.

Where did the term “bus boy” come from?


The Latin term omnibus means “for all.” An “omnibus boy” was a lad who did a bit of everything, and it became shortened to “bus boy.”

Which saying totally made your day, tweaked your paradigm, or prompted you to immediately want to run out and share with someone?

Posted in everyday expressions, humor, Reflections, Words and tagged
30 Sep 2018
6 Comments

Update, Upweight


Like most iPhoners I pushed through the latest update. For my thanks of being dutiful to serving the needs of technology my smart(ypants) phone informed me this morning I had averaged 13 minutes of screen time last week.

Excuse me?

Hostility bristled with embarrassment at this information, reminding me of the time our garbage can got knocked over and the neighborhood became privy to all we consumed in our household. The garbage can is now housed in the garage and we take our refuse to the dump ourselves, thank you very much. And the screen time feature is now deleted off my phone, thank you very much.

I realize my privacy is not as sacred as it once was, especially since I caved in and switched over from my flip phone to an iPhone. I would probably still have a flip phone if one of the progeny hadn’t convinced me to sign up to a family plan that included free phones and has a rate so low that nobody, but absolutely nobody can touch. One salesperson thinking he could convince to switch plans, that he improve our rate, paled when he saw how low our plan was and gave me the free earbuds incentive anyway.

I fear we are forever tied to our carrier. On the bright side it gives my kids a reason to talk to me now and then when something comes up about our plan–like can they have the free upgrade. After all, I don’t really use the device. At least not like they do.

‘Tis true.

When I do look over my phone bill I see I hardly use my minutes. I text occasionally. My phone calls involve quick reconnecting: “A couple of errands and then home.” My binge is maybe once a month being on the listening side of a conversation with one of the kids as we catch up on life in one info load, rather than chit chat spread over the days of that month.

My phone is primarily an extension of my laptop. I create lesson plans and school-related documents, grade assignments, correspond, and sometimes write non-school stuff. Like my blog posts.

I am coming to terms with my phone. I resent how it knows so much about me, yet I really like the instantness it provides. Weather, coupons, restaurant locations, definitions, an entertaining YouTube are all a click and thumb swipe away.

There is a constant remiss argument that rumbles within: I do miss flip phones. I do like instant access. However, I do not like how smart alecky my phone has become. Flip phones may not have been that smart but they sure knew how to keep dumb about my business.

I am resigned–I will remain tied to my iPhone, *sigh*–yet, I keep my old flip phone and reminisce. It was so pretty and it had an actually keyboard and didn’t try to autocorrect when I didn’t need it to. It was lighter in so many ways. The weight of the new update is indeed pondersome.

Posted in humor, Reflections, technology and tagged , ,
28 Sep 2018
11 Comments

Debatables Recap


As the timer sounded, the family of bears hailing from suburbia stood quivering in anticipation–or was that fear-upon their stand.

Meanwhile, the two contending bears (not to be confused with contentious) transformed from cuddled–not coddled–ursines, into their primal heritage and took off running into the forests, not only surviving their ordeal, but thriving.

Well, that could have been the scenario…

If you are wondering how the last round of Debatables went down, the Hunger Games question of who would survive–Team Paddington and Pooh or Team Berenstain? Let’s just say that host Mike Allegra found himself so disheartened by the results that he couldn’t bear to post the results.

Yes, of course Team P&P won!

Blogsters soundly recognized the superiority of Paddington and Winnie-the-Pooh over the Berenstains. Nice family, but it’s been way too long living the easy life in their house. Foraging for honey and living in the forests with tigers let alone Heffalumps and Woozels–I totally forgot how Pooh had to deal with those monstrosities–makes for a tough bear. And Paddington, being so plucky and managing to shake off any of the dilemmas he finds himself in, made for the perfect partner.

Well done, bears. This just goes to show how these bears are not in competition with each other, no matter what some are trying to project on the Internet.

Debatable score stands at Mike: 1 Cricket: 2

Stay tuned for the upcoming October Debatable: Scariest Villain found in a Kid’s Book.

Posted in bloggers, Debatables, humor, popular books, Reflections and tagged , , , ,
17 Sep 2018
5 Comments

Sunshine Rays


Chelsea created a bit of sunshine on this rainy morning with her announcement of receiving the Sunshine Blogger Award. These blogger awards are fun, not only for the recognition (because we all appreciate a bit of hurrah now and then, right?), but for the batch of questions that need answering.

I do enjoy a patch of sunflowers.

So, thanks, Chelsea! And here are the questions and some answers as requested:

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?

She followed the sunburned cow.

2. What’s black and white and red all over?

A cow who ran out of sunscreen.

3. Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

The chicken and the cow.

4. Where do you see yourself in five years?

At Barnes and Nobles making sure they have sold out of my cow joke book.

5. What would you say is your greatest weakness, and how have you learned to overcome it?

Cow jokes. I can’t stop. Sorry.

6. Why is 6 afraid of 7?

I had no idea. How long has 7 been intimidating 6?

7. Why am I here?

You are here because here is a better place to be than there.

8. Why is the sky blue?

Technically it’s black, or so I have gathered from reading sciencey type answers. Blue is much nicer.

9. Why do bad things happen to good people?

No flippancy here. Bad things happen to everybody. It hurts no matter who you are.

10. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

Broken or a Frisbee. Your choice.

11. What is the meaning of life?

I thought it was 42. Being terrible at math, perhaps I got it wrong by not carrying over my remainder or messing up my eights once again.

Now I am supposed to nominate some people and create new batch of questions. Well, having nominated numerous bloggers for other awards in the past, plus Chelsea has nominated a few of my recent discoveries, along with being a bit of an outlier, here is where I diverge from the expected. There is also the idea of not wanting to leave anyone out. Bad memories of that ubiquitous choosing up teams in school disappointment.

Here are eleven questions. If you have stopped by to read this blog, you are appreciated and I offer this Ray of Sunshine ☀️ for your efforts.

Pick a question to answer, or all of them or some of them. I look forward to your comments. And consider this your commission to spread your own Sunshine Award today to others.

1. Why did the farmer install beehives in his dairy pasture?

2. How many cows does it take to change a lightbulb?

3. Why did the cow jump over the moon?

4. What did the farmer say when the cow stepped on his foot?

5. Why are cows terrible dancers?

6. Why did the farmer move his dairy to Alaska?

7. How do you turn a cow into a cape?

8. What happened when the cow jumped on the pogo stick?

9. Where do most cows go to college?

10. What do you call a pregnant cow?

11. What do you call a cow after she’s given birth?

All right. Sunshine, awards, cow jokes–yeah, another lovely day.

Posted in Awards, bloggers, humor, Reflections and tagged , ,
13 Sep 2018
3 Comments

Debatables: September


It’s time for Debatables. My partner, whose wit and writing has attracted over 12,000 followers, is Mike Allegra. An amazingly talented doodler, Mike also pens children’s books, and has a new series out: Prince Not So Charming.

This month our topic is almost unbearable in scope: which team would survive the Hunger Games?

I’m backing Paddington and Pooh. Mike believes in the Berenstain Bears.

Check out Mike’s blog and our debate logic here. Don’t forget to weigh in your vote and add in your comments. Our debates get pretty lively–an understatement.

So far our debates stand at one round each. I won the first round on who was the better Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder, of course). Mike took the second round with his choice of Love You Forever being the worst picture book ever.

Who will emerge triumphant in this third round?

img_0310

Katniss fondly supports the P&P team

Cast your own vote of belief in the two indomitably tough bears whose cuteness is on the cutting edge of survival skills–I’m talking Paddington Bear and Winnie-the-Pooh. Send those sponsor parachutes and votes to Mike’s site.

Go P&P!

Posted in bloggers, humor, Literature, Reflections and tagged , , , , ,

Post Navigation

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →