Pam Webb

a writer's journey as a reader

Archive for the category “Family”

20 Jun 2014
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Penthouse Ponders


image: flickerriver.com Looking out over the world from my penthouse view…

This week I am on my yearly sojourn of eldest progeny visitation. She now lives in a third floor apartment with a view of the neighborhood park–well, sideways squint from the bathroom window. There is no elevator. This is an o-l-d building. If I were a realtor I would employ the words “charming,” “has character,” “a link to the city’s past.” In other words, the stairs are steep and the hallways long, and the foyer smell is a bit aromatic. The apartment itself is charming with lots of light from the east, west, and southern exposure. Her last place was a basement studio. The window and light were practically non-existent. The landlords seem to be trying to update the building. There are mock wood floors, cream-colored stucco walls, deadbolts, and newish windows. They don’t quite close all the way but there is hope for a fix in the works.

After the fourth night of staying in a third floor walk up having lived in relatively ground level dwellings all my life, I have the following observations:

  • Costco shopping hauls are ludicrous because all that is bought can only be hauled if held in each hand
  • Always think about if you have everything before leaving the apartment
  • Should I take the garbage down?
  • Looking at life from a bird’s-eye view lends a pleasant start to the morning
  • Going outside for some fresh air takes on deeper meaning
  • The opportunity to develop voyeurism is tempting
  • Less is more when it comes to gathering possessions, since it all has to be moved down eventually
  • Having neighbors below makes one more sensitive to noise being made since we were once the neighbor below
  • Streetside parking involves intuition and strategy
  • Buns of steel and stamina are a bonus to the view

These observations might be different if the building had an elevator–then again the rent would probably be higher. There seems to be an irony here: most places charge more for the tippy-top real estate, then again elevators must be part of the equation.

Perhaps if I were in my formative years of twentyish ,a walk-up domicile with windows would be exciting. At present, I am learning an appreciation for my yard, driveway, and ability to amass belongings without too much consequence.

 

 

Posted in America, Blogging, Family, Reflections, travel and tagged , , , ,
18 May 2014
2 Comments

Rainy Days of May


I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but we are having a spate of rainy May days in my part of the world. I personally don’t mind rainy days, at least not too much.  I enjoy the greenery it brings and all those flowers.  The rain also provides the excuse to stay inside and get caught up on my writing and reading because if it is sunny out I tend to feel guilt for not being outside reveling in the warmth and blue skies.  We have long winters here.  I’m trying to figure out a way to store up those sunny summer days in a jar to dispel those dismal days of December, January, February, and most of March.

When the progeny were kidlits I made sure rain did not stop their fun.  One of my helpers in this regard was a fabulous book called Rainy Days & Saturdays by Linda Hetzer. Inside our over 150 activities and ideas for chasing away the drizzle doldrums.

image: amazon.com

Check it some of our past favorites:

  • camping out inside–the old blanket over the table works, but we filled the entire living room with elaborate blanket and sheet configurations
  • bean bag throws–easy to make and hours of entertainment
  • sock puppets–old socks, buttons, felt and it’s showtime
  • finger painting–shaving cream mixed with food coloring in muffin pans equals pruny rainbow kids
  • tissue paper stained glass–an old jar, watered down white glue, a paintbrush, torn tissue paper, and stick in a candle
  • balloon volleyball–clear out the breakables and have at it
  • tornado tubes–toy stores have the contraption to join two liter bottles together to create the swirly fun
  • cooking–popovers, quesadillas, no bake cookies, homemade pizza
  • clay ornaments

I’m keeping this one for the grandkiddos coming over.  I can’t wait to build a fort again!

image: wikipedia.org

 

How about you?  Do have some rainy day ideas that work well for your bunch?

Posted in Books, children, creativity, Family, reviews, Writing and tagged , , , ,
08 May 2014
1 Comment

Updated Momisms


Mother’s Day has taken on new meaning having become an Empty Nester. The kiddos have flown the coop, starting their own lives, and while I’m still, and will always be their Mum, I don’t expect or need a big flautin’ tootin’ acknowledgement of being their mother.  Thanks, but not needed, Hallmark.  Another calendar guilt day.  Whoa–wait–stop–I didn’t mean to go in this quasi-negative direction. Of course, getting a card or phone call or even flowers is sweet and appreciated, but everyday I’m reminded that it is so cool I’m a mom of three very lovely children who have become adult just that fast. The youngest turned 21 in March and the oldest will be turning the *yikes* 29 in June.  How’d that happen?  Wasn’t it moments ago I was telling them:

  • Hey! I’m your mother not the maid. Pick up your stuff!
  • Don’t make me come back there!
  • Just try one bite–
  • It’s your brother’s turn to pick the movie.
  • No, I don’t have money for candy.
  • You can have one–I said one.
  • Not before dinner.

Now that they are adults, I find the following conversationals happening:

  • How’s work going?
  • Is this a “friend” or a friend?
  • Do you need gas money?
  • What are you doing for the holidays?
  • Is it okay if Pops and I come over?
  • Do you want to meet at the restaurant?

Yes, I notice they tend to be questions rather than statements?  Why is that? Maybe it’s because I can’t really tell my kids to get a haircut, or that they should tidy up their apartment anymore.  But I guess I do. *Sigh* I really can’t stop being a mother so easily.  There is not switch off once the kinder become A-dults.  That Mom drive just keeps going.

So, this post is dedicated to my children.  You make Mother’s Day happen everyday–not only some designated May Sunday.

And this is why I wrote that essay that got in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Multitasking Mom’s Survival Guide. 

Now that you have all moved out and have your own lives I finally do have “A Little Piece of Quiet.”

Loves and Hugs, Mum

Chicken Soup Cover

Image: Amazon Inspiration: My Very Own Progeny (psst…story #10)

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in America, Books, celebrations, children, creativity, Family, holidays, Reflections, time management, Writing and tagged , , , , ,
31 Mar 2014
2 Comments

The Peace and Quiet Found in Chicken Soup


Yes, I do hope you look inside.  Especially if you are a mom, know a mom, have a mom, know someone who will someday become a mom–that covers just about all of it, doesn’t it?
Moms.  Busy people. The “M” in “Mom” stands for “multi-tasking.” Let’s see: answer homework questions while checking the meatloaf in the oven after asking the table to be set amid soothing a sibling squabble–this all takes place in the span of heartbeat for many moms.  Yup, been there, done that.
This is why I submitted an essay to the Chicken Soup folk when they announced they were putting together a new book about moms and multi-tasking.  Like most submissions, I forgot about it as the months rolled by.  So–it was quite a pleasant surprise to receive the news my essay “A Little Piece of Quiet” (#10 in the TOC) had been accepted and would be included in the forthcoming book.
This is not my first publishing credit–and yet this one is extra-special since most people recognize the Chicken Soup series. What I especially like is being able to walk into a Barnes and Noble and find the book on the shelf. Even though my story is one of many, I still get that “YAY!” moment seeing my book keeping company with other ready-to-purchase selections.
This is a great mom present and Mother’s Day will be here before you know it.  On the other hand, this is a great gift for showing appreciation to any mom anytime of the year.
Although my kiddos are all grown up and out of the house now, I do remember those days when my longing for peace and quiet was turned around when I realized the blessing of having a little piece of quiet.
Hope you pick up the book for the certain mom-person in your life, and I hope you find your way to reading my contribution.
Blue Skies,
Cricket Muse
Posted in America, Books, children, Family, Reading, Reflections, time management, writers, Writing and tagged , , , , ,
23 Jan 2014
2 Comments

The People Factor


Relationships. They seem to make or break our happiness. Van Moody, a pastor serving the Worship Center in Birmingham, Alabama, understands the importance of relationships and provides a compact guide with his The People Factor.

The People Factor addresses the vertical (our relationship with God) and the horizontal (our relationship with others) aspects of relational skills. As a pastor he found a lack in ready resources when he counseled people. “There was nothing to put in the hands of people who left my office after sharing their deep pain over a relationship that would teach them beyond-the-basics lessons that could help them in highly practical ways.”

In each chapter, Pastor Moody weaves sound advice around his provided relatable examples, ending with “Relationship Reminders” and “Raising Your Relational IQ” which serve as personal checkpoints or could be used as discussion points in a group study.

The book is filled with points of reflection:

“We must realize that discrepancies between words and actions are serious warning signs.” (p.7)

“In relationships, commitment to integrity must take precedence over mutual comfort or shared enjoyment because integrity is the foundation of a person’s life.” (p. 47)

“You cannot erase your past. It will alwys be part of your personal history, but it does not have to define you.” (p.75)

Divided into three sections, the book explores the dynamics of relationship.

Part One: The Critical Laws of Relationships delves into the essentials of relationship such as agreement, understanding how the past influences relationships of today, and the importance of loyalty.

Part Two: How to Make the Most Difficult Choices, investigates unhealthy relationships–how to cope with them and how to let go of them.

Part Three: Essentials of Great Relationships promotes the understanding of the process of how healthy relationships work.

Finding happiness can come by losing weight, redecorating the house, or changing up the wardrobe, and there are plenty of books that help a person towards that measure of happiness. Yet, finding joy in relationships, that supercedes any temporal happiness.

The People Factor provides sound advice to promote sound relationships.

Posted in Books, Christianity, Family, reviews, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , ,
20 Dec 2013
3 Comments

The Painted Table


The Painted Table, Suzanne Field

Debut author, Suzanne Field, explores the painful process of watching a loved one drift into insanity through omniscient narration, an unusual point-of-view for this type of story, yet one that effectively provides an appropriate disjointed aspect.

Summary:
Joann hides from her childhood fears under the family’s heirloom Norwegian table. Her older brothers and sisters tease her for her  need to seek solace under its protective aprons. As she grows into adulthood, her fears follow her and manifest into odd quirks that later develop into full-on madness. Her daughter Saffee suffers terribly, watching her mother slip away from her. Saffee craves having a relationship where she feels safe and worthwhile and cannot find this fulfillment through her dysfunctional family structure. As Saffee grows from child into teenager and finally into a young woman she realizes that God is always there for her and she begins to find solace in His presence; however she continues to have doubts about herself and wonders if she will inherit her mother’s condition.

Reflection:
I’m not sure why the author chose to present the story in an omniscient point-of-view. In some ways it allows for an impassive participation by lending a distance, as if we are watching a family unravel in almost a clinical mode of observation. On the other hand, without a definite point-of-view,  it is difficult to connect to the characters. This form of narrative involves more telling than showing, which leaves one  wanting more detail. Overall, the novel presents a fascinating topic: nature or nurture? Does Joann inherit her mother’s nervous condition and pass it on to her daughter Saffee or does Saffee learn her quirks watching her mother?

“Saffee’s heart thumps. Hysteria? Acute mania? Hospital for the insane? The words glare like neon lights. Her mother and her grandmother? Insane? What was the term she learned in psychology? Evolutionary lineage? For an instant, only an instant, her chest tightens.” (244)

Saffee finds fulfillment through the support of her husband Jack, who reassures her that she doesn’t have to become her mother. And she wants to believe God has promised her life will be different. The idea of breaking patterns through love’s redemption is the backbone of this debut novel and is one that provides a satisfying ending.

Disclaimer: BookSneeze provided this book in exchange for a fair review.

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Posted in Books, Christianity, Family, Reading, reviews and tagged , , ,
14 Nov 2013
13 Comments

A Bit of Bard for the Kidlits


List of titles of works based on Shakespearean...

How well do your kids know this guy? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Shakespeare. He probably isn’t on most parental to-do lists when it comes to childhood enrichment items. Then again–why not? We trot our kiddos to soccer practice, piano lessons, and the library to enrich their lives, why not foster the love of the Bard at an early age?
Acclaimed playwright Ken Ludwig believes infusing the Bard into our children’s lives is an essential, endearing adventure to undertake. His How to Teach Your Children Shakespeare is both inspirational and inventive in its approach. Although I no longer have kidlits at home since my progeny are now building their own nests, I can still adapt Ludwig’s methods by amending them to classroom instruction, especially since the ninth grade Common Core curriculum has a Romeo and Juliet section.

Teaching Shakespeare to our children is a notable endeavour. Ludwig states a few of his goals as to why he taught Shakespeare to his children on page 11:

  • giving them tools to read Shakespeare’s works with intelligence for the rest of their lives
  • enriching their lives
  • exposing them to literature to inspire them toward achieving great lives as they grow
  • providing meaningful shared experiences

Cool. Those are pretty much my intentions when I teach Shakespeare to my classroom kiddos.
Ludwig hits all the essential values of the “why” of Shakespeare:
1. The richness of imagery
2. The lilt of rhythm
3. The nuances and playfulness of language
4. The importance of memorizing and tucking away forever a few exceptional passages to pull out and nibble on throughout life
5. The joy of exploring character

Shakespeare’s plays showcase poetry at its best. Why wait until the kinder are all grownup before relishing the richness of English language? I am always amazed when I get a ninth grader who states, “Shakespeare? Who’s Shakespeare?” Admittedly that confession is rare. Unfortunately, the only Shakespeare most students know is Romeo and Juliet. On the other hand, by the time they leave high school they will become acquainted with at least three plays and a a handful of sonnets.  Sadly, I didn’t have any Shakesperience until I began teaching it.  That’s nearly thirty years of being Bardless.  Shocking, I know.  Now I’m a professed Bardinator and hope to put my acquired knowledge to page, one of these days.  We’ll see.  I have too many books in want of writing as it is.

For now, I am thrilled to introduce Shakespeare to my freshmen and strive to induce appreciation for his words and wit.

Mass-produced colour photolithography on paper...

Anyone out there have the Bard on their parent list? Is it squeezed in with ballet and soccer?

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Posted in Blogging, education, Family, Literature, Poetry, Reflections, reviews, Teachers, writers and tagged , , , , ,
07 Aug 2013
7 Comments

What Price for Truth?


I am not prone to read books about the Holocaust. My mother, being German and having lived through the horrendous devastation of WWII, is my reminder of the harsh cruelties of war. I do though enjoy parallel plots and historical mysteries, and I picked up Sarah’s Key at the library for those two reasons, hoping its Holocaust story would not be too overwhelming. Unfortunately I found myself too much involved in the story before realizing the story would not have the happiest of endings.  So this serves as your SPOILER ALERT–if you can’t bear books of tragedy then I suggest finding another novel.  However, if you are attracted to the likes of The Kite Runner, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and The Life of Pi, that is a story where redemption is featured, then you might seek out Sarah’s Key.

While most Holocaust stories focus on German Jews, other countries also persecuted their Jewish countrymen. In France, in 1942, the Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup took place, where over 4,000 French Jews were taken to the Velodrome (an outdoor sports arena) and detained for days in inhumane conditions. They were eventually deported to the camps. So shameful became this event that is was not taught in schools, and no photographs remained.  Out of sight, out of mind. Yet, an event of such magnitude is not forgotten, and its truth resurfaced as Julia researches the event for the magazine she works for.

Sarah’s Key is twofold, a parallel plot: Julia’s and Sarah’s. Julia Jarmond is an American journalist who has married a Frenchman and embraces her life in France. She is assigned to write an article about the Vel’ d’Hiv as the 60th anniversary draws near. Sarah Starzynski is the parallel story taking place in 1942. She is ten when the police come for her family and she thinks to protect her younger brother by locking him in the cupboard. Her story is about returning for him. As Julia researches the article she focuses on Sarah and becomes obsessed with finding out what happened to her because Sarah did not die in the camp.

I stayed up all night reading this novel, something I am not in the habit of doing. Quite frankly, I abandoned Julia’s story and read Sarah’s instead, returning to Julia’s after completing Sarah’s. Her story is riveting. As much as I wanted her to have a happy ending, it did not end well, but her devotion to her brother is moving.  Her story stayed with me long after closing the book.

Recently, I discovered the film, and of course knowing the novel, I was a bit reluctant to watch it.  Fortunately, it was filmed with sensitivity and the actress playing Sarah is phenomenal. The weaving of the two stories, Julia’s and Sarah’s’ is handled much better in the film than it was in the novel. I actually suggest watching the film first, and then read the novel.

Sarah's Key

Sarah’s Key (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Both the novel and the film explore the aspect of truth. How important is it? Is it necessary to reveal the truth? What is the ultimate price for realizing the truth? For a country, there came the reminder of a shameful historical past.  For Julia, it was the realization that her devotion lay stronger for her child than her husband.  And for Sarah–for Sarah the truth became unbearable.  At one point, Julia’s husband, angry at her obsession with researching about Sarah and her family, wonders about the value of truth. “Is anyone happier for it?”

Truth hurts. There is a price for truth. Sarah’s Key is a different slant on the Holocaust, but for me, it is a reminder that truth is what we seek, although its answers often wound.

Emily D painted this portrait of Truth:

I did mention the novel also addresses redemption. Sometimes discovering the truth or revealing it serves as a catharsis, and a person is relieved to have Truth’s brightness purge the darkness that can come by trying to hide it.
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Posted in Books, children, Family, Movies, Reflections, reviews, Uncategorized, writers and tagged , , ,
30 Jul 2013
2 Comments

Just Swallow the Leader


Summer wouldn’t be the same without those plucky little backyard aereo acrobats–the swallow.

Although I have never been to San Juan Capistrano, I would surely like to be there when they make their yearly return.  The MEPA has related how spectacular the event is, and so it’s been placed on THE B.I.G. LIST. For now, I still thrill to seeing the few swallows that  swoop and dive and line twitter in our neighborhood. They are such cheeky little things with their bombing straifs if we get too close to their nest, and I always glance up upon hearing that endless parakeet chittering as they zip through the air on their bug runs.  Gosh, I just love ’em!

image: vickiesvintage.blogspot.com

Growing up, my dad had constructed a row of birdhouses, nailing them to the back of the house which faced the sidewalk leading to my playhouse and the garden. I had to pass in front of this airport of activity if I wanted to go to either of these favorite hangouts. The frantic commuter flights both enthralled and frightened me, and I distinctly remember the cacophony of the endless tweets and peeps of fledglings and parents.

Moving to Northern California for continued college, I can’t tell you how ecstatic I was to discover swallows galore. Maybe they got confused or liked the area better than San Juan Capistrano. These guys weren’t the shiny, futzy glossy white shirted swallows, these were the raucous barn swallows who much preferred making nests of mud in the most inconvenient places.  Whole apartment duplexes of them! As much as I loved them, I did not like the mess they made on the stairs which I had to use everyday.

image: pedestrian.com

Once we got settled in our own house I convinced, begged, and bothered the MEPA to install three birdhouses.  Great guy that he is he did so.  It’s taken almost four years for swallows to rent out one of the bungalows. The middle remained unoccupied and a family of chickadees moved into the other end house.

The chickadees have been long gone, but those swallows, my oh my, talk about failure to launch! They’ve been keeping mom and dad busy for these past few weeks. But today was the day they finally moved out.  Like most kids, they blew this small town and mom and dad must have fallen deep into empty nest syndrome, because they seem to have moved on as well.

The robins never returned from last year, and there just doesn’t seem to be as many birds at the feeder this year.  The progeny tease us how we’ve turned into old folksies with our bird books, binocs, and have our chaise chairs aimed towards the feeder.

“Look, hon, a chickadee–or is it a junco?”

“Ohmigosh, it’s an oriole. Lookitlookit.”

“Two o’clock. Nuthatch.”

I got birding love from my dad, and I now I got the MEPA hooked on birds. He’s taken it to a far higher level than me, however. He’s got a telescope trained on the feeder, has at least two bird books on hand for identification, and he talks and whistles to them.  He even gets them to land on him when he’s changing the feeder.

That’s a bit over the top for me and I get a little snippy with comments about nutty about nuthatches.  I kind of feel like Lucy when she catches Linus petting the birds on their heads and yells at him to knock it off.  Don’t know why it makes me crabby when he talks to the birds.  I best watch out. I wouldn’t want a Hitchcockian adventure in the backyard.

image: lecinemadreams.blogspot.com

My bird book of choice (from a college birding class I took):

image: amazon.com

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Posted in Animals, birds, Family, summer, Uncategorized and tagged ,
24 Jun 2013

Dandelion Summer


It’s always a pleasure to discover a new author, especially one who is prolific. Such is the case with my discovery of Lisa Wingate and her novel, Dandelion Summer.

Set in contemporary Texas, this is a character-rich story  with two polar opposites.  Imagine Henry Fonda from his role in On Golden Pond and a teenage Queen Latifah, you then would have Norman Alvord and Epiphany Jones, better known as J. Norm and Epie. Thrown together against their will, they reluctantly form a truce of temperaments as they launch out on a journey of discovery together.

One of the more delightful aspects of the novel is how Wingate swings the viewpoint from J.Norm’s to Epie’s, allowing the reader to fully realize the entire picture. Norman is a recent widower, ailing not only in health, but in regrets.  He is at odds with his only child, Deborah, a resentful professional woman who believes her efforts to run her father’s life is merely a way to honor her promise to her deceased, beloved mother. Epiphany is a troubled biracial sixteen year old who has it tough at home and at school. Both Epie and J. Norm want to break free of their circumstances and solve the mystery of who they really are.  The varying viewpoints provides the balance of age and youth, and it isn’t long before it’s clear that no matter a person’s age, status, or experience the basic need of family is foremost.  Epie and J. Norm form a family bond of sorts and what could have become oversweet in outcome turns into a realistic story of two hurting individuals who learn to rely on someone they least suspect of being a means of help to their situation.

My biggest takeaway from the novel is Norman’s letter to his daughter, Deborah.  He knows he wasn’t there for her when she was growing up and his letter is an apology, yet it is also an instructive that all fathers can learn from.  I plan on slipping this to my sons someday (never mind there aren’t married, or even have serious girlfriends yet), and maybe I can convince my pastor to read it for next Father’s Day. Here is an excerpt:

Dear Deborah,
Words do not come easily for so many men. We are taught to be strong, to provide, to put away our emotions. A father can work his way through his days and never see that his years are going by. If I could go back in time, I would say some things to that young father as he holds, somewhat uncertainly, his daughter for the very first time. These are the things I would say:
When you hear the first whimper in the nights, go to the nursery and leave your wife sleeping. Rock in a chair, walk the floor, sing a lullaby so that she will know a man can be gentle.
When Mother is away for the evening, come home from work, do the babysitting. Learn to cook a hotdog or a pot of spaghetti, so that your daughter will know a man can serve another’s needs.

The letter continues with sound advice and lyrical admonition to be all a man can be by being the best father a daughter can have and remember.  I read this to my writing compadres and the “oohs” and “aahs” circled around the table.

Dandelion Summer is definitely a book for perfect for the summer read list, yet  its warmth resonates long after the last word is read.

Posted in America, Family, Reading, reviews, Uncategorized, writers and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

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