Pam Webb

a writer's journey as a reader

Archive for the tag “jokes”

11 Jul 2023
6 Comments

Cowabunga!


The all important Cow Appreciation Day just about snuck past me but my handy National Day calendar alert informed I needed to pay attention. Cows are beyond special—they are bovine.

Having grown up around cows, and having lived across from a dairy farm for twelve years, I have an either an affection or a affectation for cows. I have gathered and created a plethora of cow jokes and cow facts and created a book that unfortunately no publisher is interested in at the moment. That doesn’t stop me from appreciating what Sandra Boynton has done for the cow with her winsome cowtoons and book. Gary Larson has also shown an affinity for cows. One of my other favorites is About Cows. There are scads of other books that regale cows from Dr. Seuss to meditative cows. Maybe the market isn’t ready for yet another tribute to cows.

Sandra Boynton knows her cows
Gary Larson goes to the Far Side about appreciating cows
Embracing the love of cows

Then again, why not? I’m not giving in or giving up even because cows are cool and the world cud appreciate another udderly cow time.

Here are some of my favorite cow jokes I like to toss out to unsuspecting listeners:

Why are dairy farms so noisy? Too many cows have horns.

If good cows go to heaven where do bad cows go? The udder place.

Why did the farmer place bee hives in his pasture? He wanted to live in the land of milk and honey.

What goes “oom oom oom”? A cow walking backwards.

And my parting riddle—

What is the best way to make a milkshake? Have it jump on a pogo stick.

I would love to hear your thoughts on why cows are so cool or a really good cow joke—I have enough bad ones.

Posted in Animals, celebrations, humor, popular books, Reflections and tagged , , ,
12 Jul 2022
9 Comments

Cowabunga! It’s July 12th and Cow Appreciation Day!


Cows are beyond cool. They are bovine.

One moovelous animal

I admit to being a cow aficionado. I grew up mucking about on our neighbor’s farm. Later in life I lived across from a dairy farm for twelve years. I udderly came to appreciate the wonder of this animal. To chew green grass and deliver creamy milk is marvelous.

The close proximity of cows inspired me to create a book that celebrates the cow with over 100 cow jokes with some stuff and nonsense thrown in. No publishers yet are interested. I remain hopeful that they will eventually realize my book, while not Pulitzer Prize material, is outstanding in its field.

To celebrate the cow here are some riddles to help you appreciate the cow:

1.What’s green and black and white all over?

A field with cows.

  1. What did Old MacDonald say when the cow stepped on his foot?

“Ee-ii-ee-ii-ouch.”

  1. What did Old MacDonald say when the cows began to stampede?

“Aaugh, I’m having a herd attack!”

  1. What did he say after the stampede?

“Cows should be seen and not herd.”

  1. How did the farmer divide up his herd of cows? 

He decided between the calves and the calve-nots.

  1. What did the farmer say to the old cow?

“It’s time you retired. You’re pasture your prime.”

7. Why do you call a pregnant cow?

Calfenaited.

8. What do you call a cow that isn’t pregnant?

Decaf.

9. Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The farmer had cold hands.

10. Why did the farmer install bee hives in his pasture?

He wanted to live in the land of milk and honey.

Celebrate the cow today. If a hug isn’t possible, then an ice cream cone is acceptable.

Have you thanked a cow lately?
Posted in America, Animals, celebrations, humor, Reflections, Uncategorized and tagged , , ,
12 Dec 2015
14 Comments

Still Crazy About Cows


If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time you will have noticed I have a thing for cows. I don’t know why, except I’ve been around them off and on for most of my life and as a result I’ve written a cow joke book, which, by the way, gets the nicest rejection letters. Mike Allegra has even pitched in and contributed a cow drawing. In my quest to come up with even more cow jokes for a sequel to the first cow joke book (thinking positive here) I came across a website that has 100 words related to cow.

My intent is to become inspired and come up with some original bovine blockbusting humor. Here is the site:

And here are a couple of udderly hopefuls:

#74: freshen–related to cow, as in coming in to her milk

Why did the cow take so long getting ready to leave the barn?

She had to freshen up first.

Okay–

How about this one then?

#45: kine–archaic plural of cow

Why are cows such a popular animal?

They are the best kine of animal on the farm.

Okay–

Maybe Cow Too will be a bit longer in the draft phase.

In the mean time, I keep sending out my udderly wonderful cow joke book to publishers and editors, as it will behoove me to get it published sooner than later as it cud drive you all crazy hearing me milk it for all its worth.

image: morguefile/jackse “All this bovine banter is making me have a cow–it’s driving me mad!”

Posted in Animals, humor, Writing and tagged ,

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