Pam Webb

a writer's journey as a reader

Archive for the category “Family”

19 Nov 2025
7 Comments

BMW Moments


Have you lately experienced any of the following?

a. At the store you see one aisle over that person from (fill in the blank) and want to say “Hi” but forgot their name, so you avoid their aisle and suddenly become interested in something to avoid meeting up with them.

b. You are watching a movie and an actor steps into the scene, you know who they are, and can even recall all the other movies you’ve seen them in, but their name is just out of reach.

c. You’re out in the garage looking for that one tool needed for your project and can’t locate it so you ask if anyone has seen it but right then you’ve lost the actual name of it so you invent a close facsimile like “air blower” for the “leaf blower.”

Any of these ring true for you?

I call them BMW moments. Not to be confused with this:

Not the BMW for now

It’s more like this:

Yeah, definitely

A BMW moment is what I have come to call “Brief Missing Word” moments. It’s where for a nanosecond (or sometimes longer) the name or term, that needed word that is hovering just out of reach cannot be reeled in by those little grey cells (Poirot no doubt had those brain glitches now and then).

In my younger days, about ten plus years ago, I noticed this would happen when I was teaching. I’d merrily be explaining something to my students and suddenly the word I needed evaporated right when I needed it. Most perplexing and vastly irritating.

My hubs eased my concern saying my brain is a computer and like a computer its memory files just needed some defragmentation. Plus being tired no doubt also affected my memory recall.

I bought it and learned to adjust becoming adept at word switching or talking around the missing word through descriptive embellishments.

Once retired, I thought with my mind less filled with lesson planning, grading, evaluation demands, etc. my brain files would have more space. And sleeping in, along with naps, meant being less tired. Right?

Nope, BMW moments were becoming more of a regular feature of my life. So, I naturally think dementia and go to my doctor. He gives the test.

I pass.

His comment is that I shouldn’t worry about those missing word moments unless I start forgetting the names of my children or husband or start putting my car keys in the refrigerator.

Okay. I can accept that. I’m learning to live with those brief missing moments.

Now as soon as I find my keys I can go to that one store so get that thing. Maybe what’s his face has seen my keys.

Posted in creativity, Family, humor, Reflections, stress, Words and tagged , ,
29 Aug 2025
8 Comments

Back to School Blues (not for me, maybe for you)


If you are reading this post you fall into one of the falling categories:

  • Parent of school age children
  • Student
  • Teacher
  • None of the above
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

If you identify with parent of school age children, then I commiserate with you for the back-to-school shopping marathon. Well, yes, it is exciting getting the kiddos ready for another (or their first) foray into the classroom routine. But it is tiring and expensive.

If you are a student, you are either bummed or excited, or perhaps a bit of both, since it means put a pause on summer fun in order to focus on the mojo needed to get into the school routine.

As a teacher, you are no doubt either already back in the classroom (depending on where you teach) or bum-weary from having to sit through endless admin-led meetings while you would rather be preparing your room.

None of the above? You are probably then retired or an empty-nester or perhaps neither a parent or teacher, although you vaguely remember your September back-to-school days.

This marks my fourth September I will not be returning as a teacher, yet I found myself back on campus anyway. My retirement days are centered around books: I’m either reading them, writing them, or doing something with them that is library related. Today I dropped off a box of donated of books to a couple of schools, one of which was where I formerly taught English.

Yes, it was strange.

No, I didn’t miss it.

Yes, I briefly said “howdy” to some former compadres. And yes, I delivered my usual line of “I highly recommend it!” when asked how I like being retired.

Okay, fine–I do miss some aspects of being a teacher, such as getting to know my students, watching them catch the spark of appreciating literature, lunch time sessions with teacher chums, and staff meetings (just kidding on that one).

So, here is hoping your back-to-school blues aren’t severe, and hoping the school year is fabulous, whether you are in a school desk, behind the teacher’s desk, or planning a cruise since everyone else is back in school.

Photo by Diana u2728 on Pexels.com
Posted in America, education, fall, Family, Reading and tagged , , , , , , , ,
04 Apr 2025
3 Comments

See (the) Gulls


As retired empty nesters the hubs and I are on the low key retirement plan. No RV or exotic journeys are on the agenda. Doing jigsaw puzzles, reading books, talking walks, backyard birding, and watching a good mystery series are adventurous enough for us. Going Costco and lunch is a big outing for us.

I will confess we will get really crazy now and then and binge three episodes of Dr. Blake pushing our bedtime past 10:30 pm.

Now this might either sound like an extremely boring way to spend what is considered our twilight years or it might be an ideal of retirement life. To each their own, eh?

Three years into retirement and we are in a groove and spontaneity is perhaps not so much on our minds anymore. Staying at home is quite pleasant actually. Why spend money and have to deal with other people? I know—this mindset does limit date ideas when we do decide to go out.

So on the third rainy day when cabin fever was setting in my no-let’s-stay home husband got a glimmer in his eye and suggested going for a drive.

Yes, it was still raining out. But getting out was needed, plus maybe spontaneity has its place. I assented and off we drove.

Truthfully, driving around town in the rain is not that fun although parking the car overlooking the marina proved rather pleasant.

As we sat there gazing at the rain languidly connecting with the bay I laughed as the windows began steaming up, wondering if cars passing by were wondering what we were up to. It’s nice to know that after 40 years of marriage we still can generate heat in a parked car. Admittedly it was all talk and no action.

It is nice that we still have the capacity of great conversation after four plus decades of marriage. The topic at hand was why were there year round seagulls residing at an inland lake. In our thirty or so years living in a town that boasts having an impressively large freshwater lake that has always been on my mind.

So we asked Siri, which I have named Jarvis, after selecting a British voice for my iPhone AI.

Well, they aren’t seagulls. In fact there is no such thing as a seagull. There are only gulls. And some live by the sea.

Sea period. Gull period.

My goodness that stumped us. How do I possibly unlearn a lifetime of calling a bird by the wrong name?

The point of this post is that if we hadn’t veered from our comfortable lifestyle for a bit of spontaneous getaway time we would not have learned a most enlightening fact.

So—take a moment to do something a bit different than usual (a hearty recommendation is to stay safe and sane in your decision) because you just might have an opportunity to learn something worth knowing.

Yes, and the bonus of our outing is realizing that I am my husband’s best gull friend.

Posted in Family, humor, memories, Reflections, romance and tagged , , ,
03 Feb 2025
14 Comments

The Evolution of TV and Me


I’m a boomer, which means I grew up with television. I remember that freestanding television set that sat in the room off my parents’ bedroom. There was a couch and a coffee table which I guess would make it a den.

The early years

Shows were black and white, channels were three, and times were 6 am (farmer’s report) to 11 pm (news). Then nothing played except the sign off signal and this:

mystical—isn’t it?

Color TV was for the income bracket above ours. My uncle had one.

TV furniture

I remember being mesmerized seeing Lassie in color.

from this
to this

It didn’t take long for our family to get a color console. I think my mom and her brother had a friendly competition going about keeping up with the latest.

I grew up with shows like “Dobie Gillis,” my older brother’s liking. My faves were “The Mickey Mouse Club,”“Romper Room,” and “Soupy Sales.” And sometimes “Captain Kangaroo.”

this guy didn’t always come with a filter

Locally we had JP Patches. Yes, among my first celebrity crushes was a clown. This was before Stephen King changed our perspective about them.

great show

Of course there was “Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color” hosted by Uncle Walt. It was a highlight of the week.

Every Sunday night right before bedtime

Television sounds like a huge part of my childhood and yet I have more memories of being outside playing than being inside watching.

As I grew up so did television in depth and presentation. There were more channels, more programs, more dedication to certain shows. Instant access to world events, which wasn’t always a positive.

Setting up a college dorm room involved packing a portable TV. These were black and white, but hey, it beat having to go to the dorm lounge and have to watch the show of whoever got there first.

handy, so handy

Young married life had other priorities besides buying a TV, yet somehow we bought one.

sleek, not fake furniture

Without cable or a dish the access to stations remained limited to the basic three stations: ABC, NBC, and CBS. We mainly tuned in to PBS. My kids were “Reading Rainbow” fans. Since I worked at a library books were a bigger focus than TV shows and we watched our fair share of VHS movies.

Once we became an empty nester household there were more evening hours and more income. PBS and DVD movies were still the norm. Buy into cable or dish? Pay to watch TV?!?

Then our oldest son convinced us to buy his old flat screen. Very nice. Then with my government economic boost check I invested in my own smart TV with a soundbar and installed it in a vacated kids room (now my office or Mom Cave). The hubs was shocked. Considering how much I wasn’t into watching programmed television suddenly I had more stations than I could possibly imagine at the tips of my fingers.

not my cave, yet it’s got the gist

Choice and availability didn’t change my habits though. I still watch PBS, being annoyed with commercial TV,I still abstained from paying for TV. That is until T-Mobile came up with such a customer deal: free Netflix and Apple TV. Couldn’t resist.

At first I binged on all those shows I had heard about (sure beat having to check them out as DVDs from the library, if that had that series and if they weren’t too scratched to play). Then I realized I often spent a half hour or more trying to find something to watch.

With winter’s early evening darkness I tend to retreat into my Mom Cave around five or six and zone out until bedtime. Not my best use of time, I admit.

I read in the morning and afternoon, preferring natural light. And dislike working on my computer at night (too much of a throwback to those nights of grading papers and creating lesson plans). I even tried resurrecting my interest in playing the recorder (I didn’t want to disturb my husband’s restful reading time so have that up).

I’m open to suggestions of how to spend those long winter evenings without resorting to streaming (which induces that inner scream of “turn it off—you can do this—just set down the remote).

Maybe I should move somewhere that doesn’t get dark until 9 pm. Then again that would invite a different sort of problems.

Posted in Family, memories, Reflections, Relaxation, Television series, winter and tagged , , ,
20 Dec 2024
5 Comments

TV, Eat, Sleep, Repeat…


Hmm—sounds like a recipe for the winter humdrums because the weather outside is frightful, and while I often do find some inside diversions that are delightful (such as reading and more reading), the above title reflects the tedium of my 14 hours of air travel to Okinawa.

Last year, around this time, I traveled solo to Okinawa to meet my DIL (daughter-in-law) and my new granddaughter. This year I was invited to return to Okinawa to be my DIL’s doula for their expected son. An honor I couldn’t resist.

Having flown last year to Okinawa, I felt better prepared for the flight, airport layovers, and overall stamina needed. Last year the hours in the air weren’t so bad, perhaps since I had splurged on Comfort Plus and snagged an aisle seat. Delta serves great meals, BTW. I also bought one of those advertised wraparound-the -neck pillows. Definitely a recommended purchase as I could nap without my head flopping about.

However, preparedness aside, this year I noticed my body didn’t travel as well. Backside, knees, shoulders all began to complain after six hours of sitting. Even my mantra of “Watch some TV, get some sleep, wake up to eat, and then repeat” did little to alleviate my discomfort.

I can’t imagine what it’s like being squished into economy for 10 hours. I’m glad my family convinced me into buying extra leg room.

All that discomfort and tedium faded away once established in my son’s guest room. Playing with my granddaughter, hanging out with my son and DIL, and touristing are all pleasant aspects of the visit.

An extra bonus is that Okinawa weather is a tonic since with its blue skies, warm sun, and offshore breezes. I left behind in Idaho grey skies, snowy days, chilly temps, and a longing for sun. Today in Okinawa it was a balmy 66 degrees at 10 am and I slipped outside to soak up the rays.

Yes, I did pink up sitting in the sun for a few minutes. Who can resist an ocean view on a sunny balcony? I sure couldn’t!

Doula duty is coming up in a week or two. Until then it’s play, sleep, eat, and repeat with my amazing Okinawa fam.

Posted in Family, Japan, memories, Reflections, winter and tagged , ,
08 Apr 2024
7 Comments

An anniversary is eclipsed…


Today’s focus is on the eclipse, which for some didn’t register as an event because of a)not being in the path of ta-dah or b)dealing with cloudy skies. There is also c)there was an eclipse?

For me the event of focus today was the four year anniversary of my debut picture book Someday We Will.

Yup, four years ago Beaming Books brought out my book in the beginning of April having postponed its publication from the previous fall. FYI: Grandparents Day is the first Sunday in September.

Instead of fall, the idea was Mother’s Day and the summer months of vacations when families visit. Good plan except four years ago about this time the pandemic showed up closing schools, libraries, bookstores, all those places where I might have personally promoted my book. A virtual book launch does not quite have the same impact.

Since then I have tried to make up for lost time and have done some story times with the library and have done a couple of bookstore appearances.

If you have yet to check out Someday We Will I hope you will. It’s a dandy little book for sharing just how special those family visits are, especially the grandparent ones.

As for the eclipse event? I hope your experience was satisfying. I ended tidying up the garage in hopes the clouds would part. They didn’t, but the garage looks better.

The perfect gift for grandparents as well as grandchildren anticipating a visit
Posted in authors, celebrations, children, Family, Nature, Reading, Reflections and tagged , ,
29 Jan 2024
4 Comments

Just Another Streamer


I grew up with movies being a big deal. Going out to the movie theater was a special event involving dressing up and best behavior. Stars like Sean Connery, Elizabeth Taylor, Barbara Streisand, and Gregory Peck graced the screen. Bugs Bunny cartoons opened the show and it wasn’t unusual to have a double feature with “B” film sometimes being better than the main movie. Theaters had only one screen, with two floors, complete with balconies. There were even smoking rooms and crying rooms for babies. I really aged myself there, didn’t I?

Velvet plush seats—no cup holders—very retro

Of course television changed access to movies, which changed how we watched movies. Then VCRs, DVDs, Blu-Ray and now streaming has all but obliterated the theater experience.

I held out for the theatre experience for the longest time. Going to matinees with my girlfriends, then moving on to boyfriends, and finally creating my own family outing.

Then the movie experience changed. People used to watching movies at home brought that casual attitude to the theater. Talking, feet up on the seat backs, and don’t get me started about phones during the show.

“Let’s wait for the DVD,” became the going phrase in our house. Plus, we like those special features. As discs gave way to streaming I remained hesitant, especially since it involved paying for a service that I might not use enough to justify. Besides, I can check out free DVDs at the library.

No more little envelopes in the mail

Then my phone carrier offered free streaming for two major companies. “Why not?” The problem is that there are hundreds of choices. Selecting a movie has gone from one of several up on the marquee or grabbing a couple off the library rack to an involved decision-making process that can take longer than watching a movie. There is also the issue of internet connection cooperation.

I admit I haven’t been in a theater for over three years. I still have an AMC gift card from 2019. I’ve become just another streamer and I am not sure if that is considered evolutionary progress.

Simple question: do you prefer the theater experience for watching a movie or appreciate watching from the comfort of your home?

Posted in America, Family, Films, humor, Reflections and tagged , , ,
24 Nov 2023
3 Comments

Okinawa! Part Two


After visiting the botanical gardens my son decided I needed to see American Village. Not being fond of overt tourist attractions, I politely deferred, and said if we were short on time we could skip it and head to the beach instead. Turns out lunch and getting to the ocean involved American Village.

It’s difficult to describe American Village. It’s as as if someone took a child’s colorful toy village set and hobbled it together with bright posters, stairways, and sensational features, like a gigantic plastic fuchsia shark.

Yes, that is a bit of a smirk, as in “Really? Another tourist shot?”

Lunch was upstairs in a restaurant called The Pancake House. Apparently it is very popular with tourists and locals. The menus, three are presented, all have photos in order to guide selections. Prices are in yen, but Google is very helpful in converting and a Visa solves transactions. With my offer of paying for lunch my son ordered freely from the menu. His main entree being a plate that combines fries, pancakes, and chicken. I attempted what I thought was a simple chicken curry with rice. It was more of a gravy with chicken nuggets. It was okay, but not going to be a recommendation. The total meal came to about $30, a deal considering we ordered two entrees, a side, a drink, and a dessert.

Not found in American pancake houses that I know

A stop at an ice cream shop followed lunch and it’s difficult to mess up mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone. The ice cream is made on premises and it wasn’t as sweet as its American counterpart. Walking around American Village I was amazed at all the shops tucked in here and there around all the catwalks that connected the buildings. Considering it was a Tuesday it was busy enough with mainly Japanese tourists and few Americans. Christmas decorations were everywhere. Giant snowmen, elves, Santas and the usual convivial trappings of the season were ever present among the giant box presents. Again, I deferred visiting trinket shops, hoping for something unique. So my son took me to the Cat Cafe.

No food service,just lots of kitties

Cats are revered in Japan and the Cat Cafe concept involves buying kibble to feed the assortment of cats roaming around in the airy wooden-floored room. The cat varieties vary from hairless to stubby-pawed chubbs, to fluffy tabbies with personalities ranging from noisy complainers meandering about to contented dozers curled up in cozy kitty lofts. Some cats turned their nose up at the kibble, but most appreciated the free handout. They all looked healthy and were not overweight even though it was obvious this is a popular place to visit. Both locals and tourists filled the room, all were enjoying their interactions with either petting or feeding the cats. I noticed couples coming into the cafe as a date destination. In fact this was a favorite place for my son and daughter-in-law when they were dating since animals are not allowed in the barracks. When they married and moved off base they immediately got two lovely cats from the rescue shelter. Yes, it did seem silly to me that we were paying to pet and feed cats when two were waiting for us at home.

Ma-bo, one of my grandcats. He gladly accepts kibbles and pets at no charge

Last stop was the sea wall. The ocean has always been part of my life having grown up on the west coast. Living inland the last 30 years I miss the ocean and it was a treat to renew my appreciation for it. Oddly, there were no seagulls cruising around and no whiff of salty air as experienced when visiting my former hometown, Seattle’s waterfront. Still, the ocean is a tonic for me and I could have easily stayed the afternoon walking along the immense promenade gazing out on the diamond-dappled waters.

Seeing the sea is a highlight for me

Our last stop was Foster Marine base: a haircut for my son and a stop at the base library because I didn’t pack enough books for the trip. What a library! Clean, well-organized, a bounty of selection. My son is now working at another base library and my daughter-in-law is studying for her librarian degree. Two more librarians in the family!

Soon I will leave Okinawa and return home. Not being much of a traveler this has been an eye opening experience and Part Three explores my observations. Stay tuned!

Posted in Family, food, Japan, memories, Reflections, travel and tagged , , , ,
20 Nov 2023
4 Comments

Okinawa! Part One


I’m in Okinawa, Japan, meeting my new granddaughter and engaging in some grandmother time. It takes a household of adults to take care of a newborn.

As a break from grandma time my son took me sightseeing and here are the highlights:

The Botanical Gardens

This a popular site with both locals and tourists. The gardens are interspersed with petting zoo exhibits. My very favorite was the capybara enclosure. As a favor to bloggy pal author Mike Allegra, I shared his book with a capy, who definitely showed an interest in a story about his fellow mellow rodent pals.

My son convinced me to feed the monkeys and not being enamored of these critters (thanks to PBS and Disney, I know what they are capable of doing) I went in with great hesitation. I was immediately mobbed for the sunflower seeds we purchased for them. There’s a monkey on my back proved quite true and then some.

Moving from beasts we fed some beautiful birds.

At least one typical tourist pose needed

We then traveled from the lush gardens to the other side of the island for lunch and a passing visit to the American Village. More to come in Part Two—stay tuned.

Posted in Animals, Family, Reflections, travel and tagged , , , , ,
05 Sep 2023
2 Comments

Book Signing!


Sunday, September 10th is Grandparents Day. Last year I booked a signing at Barnes and Noble at it was so successful I’m going back this year.

Mmm, I’m a bit younger

If you are in the Spokane Valley, Washington area this Saturday be sure to stop by the Barnes and Noble. After story time at 11 am I will be signing books until 3pm.

If you can’t make it you can purchase a book from your favorite online source and let me know and I will send you an autographed book plate.

Celebrating somedays!

Someday We Will celebrates that special connection between grandparents and grandchildren. The book was inspired by my visits with my granddaughter. I couldn’t wait for all those special somedays we would share together.

My frames are red—but I don’t think the illustrator knew that!

And my second grandchild is due for her debut coming up the end of this month! I can’t wait to read my book with her.

Hoping you have a special day with your grands!

Surprise find on the internet!
Posted in authors, Books, celebrations, children, Family, holidays, Reading, Reflections and tagged , ,

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