Bard Bits: How Insulting
Shakespeare is an unrefuted wordsmith. He knew how to pen a phrase with a lexiconical fragrance we still admire centuries later such as Romeo’s eloquent description of Juliet: “O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright.”
Shakespeare could also have his characters sling some stinging verbal mud as in The Comedy of Errors: “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
While insults aren’t something we should be dwelling on in our present societal focus on mindfulness, Shakespearean insults are more of a study of impactful imagery. There is also a plus of them being quite funny.
Creating a Shakespearean insult involves knowing the terms. Here are a few, some known and others relevant to only Elizabethans.
Ape(n) – 1. Imitator 2. Fool 3. Term of endearment
Beetle-headed(adj) – Thick-headed, doltish
Bootless(adv) – Fruitlessly, uselessly, unsuccessfully, in vain; (adj) fruitless, useless, worthless
Churlish(adj) – 1. Rude, blunt, ungracious 2. Violent, rough, harsh 3. Stiff, hard, unyielding
Candle-Waster(n) – Student, who sits late over his books
Dankish(adj) – Dank, damp, humid
Errant(adj) – Wandering, straying, erring
Fat-kidneyed(adj) – Gross and lubberly
Fustilarian(n) – Smelly old woman
Gorbellied(adj) – Pot-bellied, fat-paunched
Harpy(n) – Half woman/ half vulture
InfectiousTo infect (v) affect, influence, stir
Jolthead(n) – Blockhead, dolt, numbskull
Logger-head (adj) – Thick-headed, stupid, doltish
Month’s Mind(n) – Inclination, liking
Motley -minded(adj) – foolish
Nut-hook(n) – Constable, officer (a hook for pulling down nuts, hence a thief
Onion-eyed(adj) – Eyes filled with tears
Pribble(vb) – Vain chatter and silly quarreling
Rump-fed(adj) – Pampered
Scut – (n) Short tail (as of a deer)
Tottering(adj) – 1. Wavering, vacillating, fluctuating 2. Tattered, ragged, frayed
Varlet(n) – Knave, rogue, rascal
Wag(n) – Mischievous boy
Some of these surely grabbed your attention.
To assemble your insult find a noun and then a couple of adjectives that do it justice, and then begin with “You,” which depending on if it’s the 15th, 16th, or 17th century, is either a formal or informal address:
How about:
You rump-fed, gor-bellied wag!
This might be directed to a youth caught hogging the buffet at family gathering. Or, at a young man showing rude manners. Either way it’s a definite call out by an older person to a younger one.
If you are in need of inspiration I suggest referring to an automatic Shakespearean Insult Generator.
May this post prompt your tongue to choose words other than the usual curses, especially when driving. These also might be handy since it is an election year.
Pam Webb 